


The Snow King

by EventHorizon



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Snow, mystrade
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-18
Updated: 2013-12-18
Packaged: 2018-01-05 00:35:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1087484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EventHorizon/pseuds/EventHorizon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Greg loves a good snowy day... Mycroft truly does not see the appeal.  At least, at first...</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Snow King

**Author's Note:**

> Another little thing I'm dragging over from my [tumblr](http://eventhorizon451.tumblr.com)...

      “Gregory, wherever did you obtain a snow shovel?”

      “There are places in your house you don’t even know exist, aren’t there?”

      “Were that true, I do not believe I would be able to provide an answer to your query.”

      “Save the fancy grammar for someone who _didn’t_ hear you last night unable to string a full sentence together using that pretty mouth.  Though what you _could_ do with it more than made up for the lack of conversation.”

      “You shall not divert attention from my question by raising the topic of our personal interactions.  Though that does remind me that I noticed an exquisite new line of glass… accessories… about which I would like to solicit your opinion.”

      “Count me in on that.  Soon as I shovel us out, we can do some browsing.  Why don’t you find some instructional videos for reference and we can take a look at those, too.  For research purposes.”

      “Oh, but of course.  And we may begin our investigation now, since you are absolutely not permitted to strain yourself with the task of shifting around masses of snow.  I have staff for that purpose.”

      “Yeah, and I’ve got two arms, just like they do.  Besides, it’s fun!”

      “Wielding a shovel cannot be described by the term ‘fun’.”

      “Sure it can!  Think of all those little tykes at the beach with their tiny shovels having a go at the sand.”

      “I would rather not.  The combination of secretion-moistened children and beach sand is not a pleasant one to consider.”

      “Posh git.  If we had kids, I’d take them to the beach every summer.  AND give them little shovels to play with.”

      “If we choose to adopt one or more heirs, you are quite welcome to bring them to the beach.  I shall be in our hotel, enjoying a good book and a cool beverage.”

      “Nope.  Best you’ll get away with is camping under an umbrella.  Don’t fall asleep, though, or we’re burying you.   I’ll be nice enough to cover your nose with lotion, though.  I’m not cruel or anything.”

      “Gracious to a fault, however, none of this is going to alter my decision that you are not to venture outdoors and attempt to modify my sidewalks.”

      “Come with me.”

      “I beg your pardon.”

      “Come on… you can watch that I don’t drop dead from a heart attack and I can enjoy playing in the snow.  Win-win!”

      “Gregory… I have quite a volume of work to resolve and…”

      “Liar!  You just said we could watch dildo porn.”

      “….”

      “So get your coat and shoes and meet me outside.  Once I’m done, we can settle in front of your fuck-all-big flatscreen and watch all the dildo porn you want.  You can even tie me naked in my chair, your personal favorite of our current collection nestled deep inside my arse and I’ll be completely helpless to stop you doing anything you want to make me cry, scream and lose my mind.”

      “I shall make haste.”

__________

      “It is cold, damp and grey.  I am still awaiting your explanation as to how these factors, combined with manual labor, can meld into a condition suitably described as _fun_.“

      “It’s bracing!  Gets the blood flowing.”

      “I believe you obtain the same result with a long swim in a heated pool.”

      “Nah… gotta be out in the cold, seeing your breath in front of you.  And you get to accomplish something!”

      “You have moved snow from one position to another.  The accomplishment is not one I would seek to have to appended to your resume.”

_…foomph…_

      “Gregory Lestrade.  What have you done?”

      “Expressed my opinion in a physical manner.  HAH!  I sounded a bit posh there, didn’t I?”

      “You flung a mass of snow onto my person and now… BLAST!  I have snow melting down my neck.”

      “AND HE SCORES!  Greg Lestrade for the win!”

      “Must you dance, as well?”

      “Victory dance.  It’s mandatory.”

_…foomph…_

      “Mycroft Holmes.  What have you done?”

      “I believe I created what is termed a ‘snowball’ and hurled it at you with, if I am not too self-aggrandizing, laudable accuracy.”

      “You do realize that I can’t let that go.”

_…foomph…_

      “Good heavens… really, Gregory.  Did you have to aim directly at my face?”

      “You’re staring down the Snow King, Mycroft.  And I don’t play around with useless body shots.  Now…”

_…foomph…_

      “Christ!  Right up my nose!  I can’t breathe, you bastard.”

      “You can speak, therefore you can breathe.”

      “Don’t confuse me with science!”

      “Perhaps you should concede defeat.”

      “NEVER!  The Snow King refuses to abdicate!”

      “That is… Gregory, what are you doing?”

      “Enough of this small-caliber crap.”

      “Gregory… that is… your head is not so large.  Rethink your…”

_…FOOMPH…_

      “HAH!  How’s it feel being… Mycroft… what are you… why are you on your mobile…”

_…foomph…_

_…foomph…_

_…FOOMPH…_

_…foomph…_

_…foomph…foomph…foomph…FOOMPH…foomph…foomph…foomph…foomph…foomph…foomph…foomph…foomph…_

_…foomph…_

_…foomph…_

      “And I deliver the coup de grace.  I believe the Snow King has been dethroned.”

      “…lp”

      “What was that, my dear?”

      “.elp”

      “It is rather hard to hear you through your insulatory winter blanket.  I shall assume you desire assistance to return to your feet, since I believe I see your hand jutting upwards from your pristine white shroud.”

      “..tard.”

      “Now, now, Gregory… no need for such language.  Here, give me a moment…  Ah.  There you are.”

      “That was cheating.”

      “Was there a prohibition against it?”

      “I want an army of snow warriors on my side next time.”

      “I apologize, my dear, but they have all pledged their loyalty to the reigning Snow King, and I do believe that is me.  Now, you could do with a hot shower and I shall send someone out here to complete your task.”

      “Yeah, right now… a shower sounds great.”

      “Oh, and Gregory?  Do not bother with getting redressed.  I believe ‘cry, scream and lose my mind’ was what you requested?”

      “All Hail the Snow King.”

      “And you would do well to remember it.”


End file.
